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Amy Christine

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6 Literary Crushes Who Put the Erotica In our English Class

October 30, 2016

These protagonists/ anti-heroes may not the be the hottest bros at the ball, but they still make a girl swoon. I don’t encourage anyone to take a majority of the men on this list home to meet the family, but by god, they are misunderstood, artistic, passionate and sexy. Whether you love classic literature from the rolling hills of England, magical realism from Colombia or a good ole' American favorite, I guarantee you’ll want to fantasize and pine after these literary hunks. After all, we want to understand them, to fix them and to show them the way of unconditional love!

For those who occasionally get more joy fantasizing about fictional characters than real- life men, here’s a recap of some of the wildest men we love to read about.

1. Phantom of the Opera. While yes, he’s technically a psycho murderer who lives in a basement, he DOES love Christine and want what’s best for her, so long as it is being by his side and singing for him.  His whole life is devoted to her craft. He brings a new meaning to giving blood, sweat and tears for your passion. No matter how you slice it, he’s not hubby material, but my god, you know you root for him more than Raoul. Sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And Leslie Knope agrees with us on this one! 

 

2. Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte.

This one is a no-brainer! He is grungy, sensitive, tough-love and body and soul devoted to Catherine. Yes, he somewhat emotionally tortured her by waiting until her marriage day to finally return, but damn it, was he in love with her until-- and we can assume after the day he died. I mean, he literally opened up her casket and lay with her on a somewhat regular basis. That is a scary kind of commitment, but a commitment nonetheless. I'm going to say this literary crush is chalked up to our bad-boy phase. 

via GIPHY

 

3. Florentino Ariza from Love In the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

He’s shy, has glasses, is a talented musician and a lover through and through. He was the ultimate hipster before it was cool. He drinks his coffee black, always dresses in older, more sophisticated clothes (even as a young man) and writes poetry. In his spare time, he wrote the ultimate how-to guide on love. He’s a heart-sick puppy who we love to watch exist in his world. He believed in timing and REALLY makes us think about what it means to be patient. He waited roughly 60 years to finally love Fermina Daza in person! I’m going to give him a two thumbs up. Please enjoy this hipster gif while you pine after Florentino. 

via GIPHY

4. Gilbert Blythe from Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Even though the first time they met he teased her about her red hair and touched her braids (never a good idea to touch someone without their permission, but ANYWAY) he loved Anne “with an -e” from the moment he met her. He quietly made sacrifices for her and patiently waited for her (hmmm maybe do I sense a theme with these last two crushes? Patience is a virtue they say). He also gave up his job offer for her because he knew she was really the best person for the job, if every man gave up his job for the woman who rightfully deserved it… IMAGINE WHAT KIND OF WORLD WE WOULD LIVE IN.

via GIPHY

5. Vronksy from Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

This is hands down one of my all time favorite books. The complex relationships, sexual tension and deep understanding of culture in this book is intense and leaves a lasting mark on the reader. Vronksy is yes, handsome, wealthy, and charming, but his real appeal lies in his complete willingness to abandon his social and professional status to be in a relationship with Anna. Compare this to 80s cinema classic, Pretty In Pink. This is like Blane abandoning his cool rich friends to be in a relationship with Andie. He even walked in the other hallway for Andie! Truthfully, and somewhat, unfortunately, men abandoning their social statuses tugs at our heartstrings, even though those societal pressures should have never been there in the first place. I think Vronksy is a solid choice for a lover, but don’t put your guard all the way down we never really had a good read on him in the end. Did his love for Anna waver? Or was it her opium use and depression that made her suspicious and not his actions at all? 

via GIPHY

Here's a Pretty In Pink visual if you're not familiar with the power and pizazz of Molly Ringwald and her reign over the 80s.

via GIPHY

6. Atticus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee

Do I really need to explain why? He is a badass, hero and DILF. Atticus is the voice of reason, justice and comfort throughout the entire book. He taught us how to treat others, how to stand up for ourselves and he was most likely responsible for one or two erotic daydreams.

via GIPHY

 

We all have different types and taste. If your crush wasn’t on this list, let me know! I would love to hear about your literary boo-thang. Here are some great resources for hunting down new books and new fictional hunks:

Book of the Month Club

Bustle Books

Refinery 29 Reading List

Enjoy! Happy reading and happy crushing!

 

← I Lived Like the Cat Hanging out by My dumpster for a Week and Here's What HappenedDating On A Dime: Giving your S.O. the world doesn’t have to cost you →

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